According To Jim: Haunted
by Thor2000
Summary: Jim takes a job that takes him to one of Detroit's most haunted houses; meanwhile, Dana gets on a health kick to lose weight that frustrates Ryan.
1. Chapter 1

They had said it would never happen. There were those who doubted it could ever occur. Sure Dana Harridge was cute, attractive and brainy, but she was also sarcastic, caustic and sometimes mean-tempered. Just ask her brother; he blamed her for the years of psychological abuse he had endured over several forty years of being related to her. Brunette, shapely and fun to be with, Dana had gone through a lot of boyfriends, enough of them that they could form a union, but there was only about so much of her they could take before they broke up with her, changed their names and moved out of state. Her brother-in-law called her a psycho; her sister called her needy. Her nieces called her crazy. Her nephew called her Aunt Dana, but despite the odds, Dana Veronica Harridge had trapped herself that daring dream of dreams that she had longed wished for... a husband! Ryan Gidson was tall, handsome and dashing, like a comic book character brought to life, but best of all, he was a doctor! Somewhere amongst her neuroses, low self-esteem and pretty shell, he found a captivating beauty that needed to be loved and made her a wife and then a mother. Eager to prove her worth and thanks to him for proving she was worthy of being loved, she sexed herself up with a skimpy black teddy and upon hearing him coming up the stairs of their Dutch Colonial, she scattered the room with rose petals and spritzed the air of the room with the scent of love. When Ryan started coming closer, she launched herself on to the bed and took the pose of the most current unrealistic car babe on the cover of a hot rod magazine. She thrust her chest out, curled her arm back behind her head and became the sexiest woman in the world.

"Oh god, what a day I had…" Ryan barely noticed her effort. "Just one thing after another… you know, some guys think being a gynecologist is the greatest job in the world, but sometimes I wonder why I'm doing it." He emptied his pockets on to the top of his bureau, pulled off his tie and started unbuttoning his shirt before looking back to his wife. "What's the matter? Your back gone out again?" Dana made a face and collapsed of disappointment.

"I'm being sexy!!" She reminded him with that caustic voice that had driven off so many previous boyfriends. Ryan looked at her a second more, and then, it hit him. She was looking hot! The lace and design of her teddy looked as if it were just barely holding back her bosom. Her every curve was intoxicating; every alluring nuance of her subtly perfect goddess-like posture was begging to be touched. She wanted to be appreciated! He hurried off with his shirt, loosened and dropped his pants as he stepped off his shoes and dropped to the bed to make love to his wife. Dana grabbed him by his undershirt and pushed him down to the bed. Ryan beamed like a young boy being ravaged by his favorite movie star actress and then accidentally made the noise that would ruin his night.

"Uhhhh!!" He groaned as she landed on him.

"What was that?!" Dana lost her playful grin and reaped her beautiful long tresses of hair back as she looked down on him. "Do you think I'm heavy or something?!"

"No, no, anything but that!!" Ryan started freaking for some form of damage control. "I meant…. Uhhhhh, you're so sexy!" He made a weak attempt to avoid a fight.

"Just say it!! Just say it!!" Dana slid over, reacted hurt and upset and folded her arms before her. "You think I'm fat! You think I'm fat and ugly!! Well, I'm sorry if I'm not as hot as I was before the birth of your son, Doctor Ryan Gidson, but I deserve to be appreciated!!"

"I wonder what Jim would do in a time like this?" Ryan stared dejectedly at the ceiling trying to think of a way out of this fight.

"Did you say I should go to a gym?!" Dana heard a strained version of his mumblings and became hurt. "I hate you, Ryan! I really hate you!!" She began crying and trying to hold back her tears. Her feet vaulted off the bed, hit the floor and marched her ahead into the adjacent bathroom. Slamming the door behind her, she sat on the toilet seat and started crying. Left alone to wonder just what the heck had happened, Ryan stared up the ceiling of his bedroom listening to the echoes of sobbing a second, brushed away a few rose petals from the bed and reached for the phone by his side. With it in hand, he typed out the number to his brother-in-law, the self-declared expert on women.

"Hey, Jim…" Ryan reacted complacently as Dana bawled her eyes out a bit louder. "It's me. Look, I'm in a bit of a one-sided fight with Dana. What do you think I should do?"

"Who is this?" Jim Belushi relaxed in a big comfy recliner in his living room; a beer in one hand, the TV remote in the other as he watched sports highlights. Contractor by business, authority on everything else by nature, he exuded a bit of pompous annoyance in his voice as he paid more attention to his TV than to his brother-in-law's dilemma.

"Oh, you know who this is!!" Ryan sat up on his bed as Dana cried louder through the wall.

"Okay, okay, okay," Jim mused a bit knowing Ryan had come to him. "What's she doing right now?"

"She's locked in the bathroom crying."

"Here's what you do…" Jim reacted with experience from his wife, Dana's sister. "Nothing… Just nothing at all! Just let her get it out of her system. Let her fall herself asleep and she'll wake up in the morning completely out of it."

"Jim, that's horrible advice." Cheryl the sister was eavesdropping on the upstairs phone as she read a book in bed. "Look, Ryan, Dana is really insecure. No matter what happened, just tell her you love her and you will make everything all right."

"But I didn't do anything wrong."

"Cheryl, he didn't do anything wrong."

"Doesn't matter…" Cheryl was often the wisest one in matters of the heart. "Ryan, tell her you love her, and you will make everything all right."

"All right, hold on…" Ryan set aside the phone, rose to his feet and stood at the bathroom door of his room. He rapped the door lightly with his fingertips and waited for the door to unlock and crack open a bit. Dana peeked out through the opening; her blue eyes filled with tears and lovely eyes streaked with her sorrow.

"Dana, I love you, and I will make everything all right." He poured out from the heart. "You are so perfect to me and not fat at all."

"I'm fat?!" Dana started blubbering again and reclosed the door to relock it. Her shrieking sobs filling the house, Ryan rolled his eyes, waved his arms and head to the directions of the heavens trying to understand women and dropped defeatedly to the bed to retake the phone.

"Did I say paraphrase something else?!" Cheryl reacted in disbelief to what happened. There was an extra figure out the corner of her eye as she looked up from her bed to her husband staring at her from the bedroom door to the hall. He looked at her smug in his warped logic and understanding of the episode. He lifted the cordless phone from the downstairs to his ear.

"Ryan…" He spoke next. "Get out of the house!! I'll leave the back door open for you over here!"


	2. Chapter 2

2

It was Monday morning and Jim was eyeing the work order for a restoration job out of town. His reason for life was set, but Cheryl's reason was the love and satisfaction of taking care of her family and her role in the community. She felt good in helping others and it was no better felt than at home in taking care of her two daughters and her son, although at times she felt she had two sons if she considered Jim the biggest baby in the house. Jim appeared in the kitchen for his breakfast in his usual khaki pants and solid blue shirt ready to tackle his day. Cheryl met him with a loving kiss just after sending their progeny off to school.

"Hello there, wife-of-mine…" He kissed her back and took his seat at the breakfast table. The kids had left him plenty of bacon and sausage but not much scrambled eggs. "Oh man, big job today, big job."

"I know…" Cheryl scrambled him more eggs ahead of wiping out her frying pan to clean it. "I drive by that old house on Sycamore a lot. Do you think you can let me see the inside of it after you start?"

"I don't know, Cheryl." Jim ate his breakfast and sipped his juice. "It's hard for me to get any work done when you're there."

"What?" Cheryl turned round confused. "I never get in your way."

"It's not that, Cheryl…" Jim rephrased his message. "When you're there, the other guys get distracted, and I can't get any work out of them." His wife shined at her incredible power to distract men with her own looks. Beaming ear-to-ear, she tossed her hair back, grinned happily and kissed her husband for reminding her she was still hot to look upon by other guys. Not all girls had that power, and one of them was her very own sister. Turning to the kitchen sink, she noticed the back gate of her home to the alley in back open up and Dana jog herself through in dark blue shorts and a white t-shirt. She looked like an ad for an athletic spa with the sweatband in her hair and those brand new white sneakers. Right behind her was Ryan bringing up the rear in his gray sweaty sleeveless shirt and black gym shorts.

"You're… jogging?" Cheryl turned to her sister coming through her back door.

"Well, Cheryl, I have to…" Dana stretched and rotated side to side at her waist to try and lose the weight from the birth of her son. "I mean… some of us have to work twice as hard to look twice as good."

"Dana and I jogged all the way over here from our house." Ryan beamed to his beautiful wife and once he was out of her eyesight, keeled over wheezing out of breath. Jim patted his back trying to help, but his efforts only seemed to exacerbate his wheezing. Practically collapsing into a chair, Ryan poured himself some juice from the pitcher at the table. Jim leaned into him covertly.

"How did you get Dana into exercising?" Jim mumbled without moving his lips.

"I told her I wanted to get some exercise, and that I sometimes have young female joggers rushing out and joining me." Ryan confessed to a lie, but Jim recognized playing the jealousy card and shook his hand for his brilliant scheme. Looking back to his wife, Ryan once again turned into the loving husband and shined his steely grin to Dana who kissed him back.

"Hey, Jimbo…" Cheryl and Dana's brother, Andy, had come through the front of the house to the kitchen. "Let's get a move on… We got to get a crew ready for the job."

"Yeah, that's right…"

"Hey, Jim…" Cheryl wiped out a cup and turned round waving her dishtowel. "Tell them what house you're working on!" She wanted to impress her sister on the location of the landmark.

"It just happens to be 1364 Sycamore…" Jim beamed ear-to-ear. "You know, that big old house everyone sees from the highway that's been closed off all these years. I'm the first person to get inside it in over half a century!" She made his proud but privileged grin. Dana reacted impressed as Andy shined and basked in the afterglow.

"The Stoddard house, huh…" Ryan sipped his juice a bit more as Dana sat close to him. "You guys are going to be working on the old haunted house in town."

"Wait, excuse me…" Jim heard a word he didn't like. "What kind of house?"

"Haunted…" Ryan showed he had a bit more knowledge about the place. "Jim, the old Stoddard House is like one of the most popular legends in town. It's full of ghost stories."

"Wait, excuse me…" Andy heard a word he didn't like. "What kind of stories?"

"Ghost stories…" Ryan looked at them then over to Cheryl and back to his beautiful wife. "Haven't you guys ever cracked a book? Checked out a magazine? Read the newspaper?"

"You know, Jim…" Cheryl moved past her husband to tease him. "Those are the extra pages that come with the sports section." She beamed a little laugh at him.

"I read the newspaper!" Jim told her off with his voice a bit louder than usual.

"Ryan…" Dana looked upon her husband with a new look. "How do you know about this place?"

"What young boy doesn't like a good ghost story?" Ryan reverted a bit to his youth eager to tell the tale. "The Old Stoddard House is supposed to be one of the scariest places in town. Why do you think it's been empty for so many years? It's been empty ever since the last family to try living there in the Forties moved out after claiming they heard voices in the night."

Jim made a scoffing noise. "I'm not afraid of ghosts." He boasted as he strutted a little bit past Ryan and his wife through the living room. "And there's nothing to be afraid of either. Andy and I will be surrounded by plenty of guys keeping us company as we restore the place. Right, Andy?"

"You know, Jim…" Andy made a worried face and hedged a bit. "There's this little science fiction expo coming up that I'd really like to be a part of. I mean… you could certainly spare me for…."

"Andy!!"

"That's right…." Cheryl hugged her big but simple-minded lug of a husband. "My guy isn't scared of nothing." She kissed his face.

"Maybe…" Dana had well prepared her comment. "But I think Andy just filled his shorts." She mused a little laugh.

"I did not." Andy shot back then bent over a bit and checked the front of his khakis to be sure. He thought it over a bit then decided he was okay. "I'm not scared! I mean… it's just that the place is kind of old and I bet the floors are possibly rotten and weak. I wouldn't want to crash through them."

"I wouldn't worry about that, Andy…" Jim asserted his presence in the room by taking his place in his favorite chair n the house; it was sort of his throne where he could see the entire room. "I had a building inspector go check out the house, and he said the location was structurally sound and in good shape from what he could see through the windows."

"What did he mean by that?" Cheryl thought over that comment.

"You know… I didn't ask him!"


	3. Chapter 3

3

The Old Stoddard House rested atop a hill at 1364 Sycamore Street; now Rural Route 18 since the area was rezoned. In its heyday, the area was a major thoroughfare into the community of Elmwood, but the new highway redirected all the traffic away and left behind a scenic drive of nice homes and rolling countryside surrounded by industrialized plants and businesses. The old driveway winded at the base of an incline and wound around a hill twice before reaching the old edifice on top. It was the front of the place that looked over the area. When Jim arrived, he didn't think it looked haunted. It looked like every other home he had seen along the interstate. It had the front of an old white frame house, now faded and peeling with neglect and falling shutters, but the added wings constructed afterward had bay windows and garret attic windows. It was obviously once the home of well-to-do people with a small staff of housekeepers. Jim looked over it once and sighed tiredly before pulling out his tools to start planning the restoration. He had to figure out what to rip out and what to save for his client. He had to decide what the expense would be and how big a crew he would need. Carrying a large toolbox and work order under his other arm, he marched forward up the front steps of a wrap-around porch. As Andy came up behind him, the creaking swing that had been aloof in the breeze suddenly stopped creaking. He noticed it… then quickly tried to forget it.

"Would you look at this…" Andy came in behind Jim unlocking the left side of the double front doors. "I could see my self living here." He walked in to the house between the bottom landings of two staircases rising together over his head and joining an overhead second floor balcony circling the front foyer and lit up by a round skylight over the large spacious room. Two wide open doorways left and right lead to rooms of furniture covered in sheets while another double set of doors within a recess lead into a large drawing room highlighted by a huge crystal chandelier overhead and a massive chimney mantelpiece instilled with wooden baroque carvings and a dusty forgotten mirror in the center.

"So could I…" Jim looked around. "But then Cheryl would just show up and suck all the fun out if it." He tested the light switch to no avail. The power was not on yet. Turning round, he entered the recess, slid one of the double doors into the wall out of his way and noticed a huge mahogany table left out collecting dust and cobwebs.

"What's the new owner going to do with all this furniture?" Andy admired a large expensive grandfather clock.

"I don't know…" Andy started pulling out tools to use on the table. "She didn't say." He checked his tape measure. "Why don't you start measuring the upstairs for new carpet and check the plumbing fixtures?"

"Aren't you going with me?" Andy reacted like a small boy. Jim reacted with disbelief at hearing that.

"Uh, no…" Jim reiterated his point. "You see, we've got a large crew coming here this week, and to get ready for them, we have to split up to cover twice as much. I'll be getting some dimensions down here." He paused, looked away and turned back to his brother-in-law. "I mean… you're not… scared are you?"

"Scared? Me scared?" Andy scoffed at that notion. "Course not!"

"Fine."

"Fine." Andy turned with his tool kit to head out to the stairs to the foyer for his inspection and measuring. He stopped barely short of the foyer and looked back to Jim.

"By the way, Jim…" He looked back. "If you see someone racing down the stairs at top speed as if he's been scared silly, be sure not to get in his way. That'll be me." He mused a bit and turned away again. Jim made a face to acknowledge what he had said and turned away once more. Andy's steps could be heard trekking up the stairs and scuffling across the upstairs balcony for the upstairs bedrooms. Downstairs, Jim looked around the deserted drawing room with his reflection in the mantel mirror his own reflection. His only other company was the huge fat table, the tall regal grandfather clock and the short squat easy chair near the empty shelves in the wall. The back windows looked out over the highway at the bottom of the hill, the sounds of traffic whistling and calling as they veered up the hill and into town. Jim headed straight for the mantel, measured it across and scribbled his measurements. He checked for a draft, squinted up the flue and stood up straight once more to dust off the mirror with his fingertips. Clicking his tongue at his reflection, he made a slight grin and turned to his case for his small flashlight. Urban legends of dads in Santa Claus costumes dying trapped in chimneys floated through his imagination as he wandered back to the table and looked around the room. It was still early afternoon, but it felt more like dusk as the sunlight dwindled and faded from cloud cover. For a moment, something made him turn and look at the chair as if he expected to see someone in it, but he just laughed it off and continuing measuring. Upstairs, he heard Andy crossing the top landing over his head.

"Keeping busy up there?" He called out. No answer. He turned from the table with a hammer in his hand.

"Excuse me…"

Jim realized he was not alone. He glanced over to an old black man with gray hair and partial beard stubble. He looked worn from the heat, a few beads of sweat on his receding hairline. His face was pockmarked from the sun, and he wore old worn-out blue overalls with only one strap holding them up over the shoulder of his dirty red t-shirt. The other hung loosely under his right arm. He held an old worn bamboo hat in his right hand and gestured with his left.

"Can I help you old timer?"

"I'm Amos Queen, the old caretaker…" He waved his left hand nervously, his body wracked with rheumatism. "You wasn't thinking about ripping out the mantel, was you?"

"Well," Jim looked back and back again. "I was thinking about it. You see, it's old, worn, it's plugged up…"

"My daddy and I…" Queen spoke with an Old Southern demeanor. "Built that for Old Man Stoddard in the spring of 1932. We carved it in five separate pieces… by hand. We didn't use any of those new fangled electrical devices. We carved every piece, and it all fit together like that." He pieced his fingers together like a puzzle.

"Wow…" Jim looked to him and back again. "I can't even see the seams."

"Good old American craftsmanship…" Queen responded solemnly. "You don't see that anymore. Old Man Stoddard used it every winter. His family's pictures used to sit all over it, and every Christmas, he sit in this one spot…" He stood over by Jim's right hand side. "And read stories to all the children on the estate." He paused reflectively. "You don't destroy things like that. It's just a little old. All you got to do is clean it up."

"Yeah, well, I kind of got to do what the new owner wants." Jim confessed.

"All you got to do is clean it up." Queen said again and tilted his head. "For me… for my daddy…"

Jim sighed deeply with a deep breath.

"I'll do my best."

"All I can ask…" Queen shook Jim's hand. "God be with you…"

"Yeah, you too." Jim turned to set his hammer aside, but when he turned round, he was alone again. The guy was old, but he was fast.

"Old timer…" Jim reacted a bit spooked, but not scared. "Old timer?" He backed up to the foyer. As he peeked into the front room, he jumped from a crash behind him and whirled around. Andy had come down the kitchen stairs and had raced from the door to the kitchen, surprising him in the process.

"Andy!" Jim wanted to strangle him. "What the hell…" He clutched his chest. "You practically scared the heck out of me. Not that it's hard here…"

"Did you see some kids run through here?" Andy looked under the table and in the fireplace.

"Kids?"

"Two boys and a girl with blonde pig tails…" Andy was more annoyed than scared. "I caught them upstairs in a bedroom. You'd think they'd have something better to do than explore an old house and annoy the heck out of me."

"What'd they look like?"

"Well," Andy thought a second. "The taller boy was in brown pants and a white dress shirt with suspenders… Kind of old clothes. The girl was dressed in a short dress and…. You know, I haven't seen clothes like that since the old _Little Rascals_ shorts. Hey, Jim…" Andy looked round and scratched his head. "Who was that old codger I saw heading out the kitchen? What did he want?"

"Oh, that was the old caretaker…" Jim reacted with historical nostalgia. "Look at this… he was telling me that he and his father built that entire mantelpiece piece by piece out of their bare hands with simple hand tools." They turned and looked at the incredible craftsmanship.

"Wow," Andy became impressed. "I couldn't do that."

"Neither could I…" Jim chuckled as he heard noises from over his head. The two of them cocked their heads upward as the sounds of children raced across the upstairs. They were giggling and laughing, but their echoes had a sort of otherworldly quality from them, as if they were from another world beyond time and space. Their actions had a physical presence in this world, rattling the overhead crystal chandelier, which tinkled and rattled a bit. Beyond the children's voices was another voice - male, adult, animated… It laughed at something.

"I didn't hear that." Andy remarked.

"Neither did I…." Jim added.

There was a new sound next. It was the sound of something knocking through the house, bouncing down the steps. Andy turned nervously and looked to see an old dirty and discolored baseball rolling down the staircase in the foyer, hitting each step on the way down and at the bottom rolling forward toward them still not slowing. It rolled forward and forward and finally came to a stop after deflecting like a pool ball off Andy's right foot. He looked at it trying to be as casual as possible. From somewhere in the room, they both heard a child's gasping voice.

"Wanna play?" The giggling voice wafted through the house next.

Jim and Andy looked at each other trying to look distracted. Jim looked at the mantel looking for a place to start cleaning it. Andy pretended to notice lint on his shirt he tried to pick off. They looked at each other again.

"I didn't see no baseball." Jim commented.

"Neither did I…." Andy added that time. They looked upon each other, and the next second they were racing out of the house and getting caught in the same side of the double doors heading out of the place. To get through, Jim pulled Andy back and pushed him behind. Andy looked round once at the interior, wailed a bit and crashed into the back of the door Jim had closed behind him. The impact rattled open the other door as Andy tried to shake the dizzy sensation from his head and raced out the other opening to catch up with Jim racing down the hill.


	4. Chapter 4

4

Cheryl was slowly slipping into the groove of being a mother of teenage girls. Ruby was already thirteen and talking to her best friends on the phone about boys. Gracie was still in the awkward stage where she was slowly out-growing her youth; yet, she was looking forward to being older and being around boys a bit older than her. Ruby did not want her around anymore so their friendship was gradually being pulled apart by their personal pursuits and wants. Her son, Kyle, however was all of eight and still trapped in the ever-popular Peter Pan complex. He still acted like a young boy who loved his mother and raced after small animals.

"Kyle," Cheryl yelled to her son from the back door. "Don't bring that dog on to our yard. It belongs to the Hennessey's!" She paused and noticed her neighbor taking offense at Kyle trying to adopt their dog. "Oh, hi, Cate, don't worry, he'll bring it back." She rolled her eyes and re-entered her kitchen from the backdoor. Sometimes she felt as if her life was a TV series. She took a dishtowel to wipe down her counter top from after doing the dishes and heard someone coming into her home. After a minute, she paused and listened.

"Hey, Cheryl…." Dana came straight through the house in her white shorts and black halter top. "You know, I think I've lost three pounds with all this running. I'm feeling better than ever."

"That's great!" Cheryl applauded her sister's perseverance. "Where's Ryan?"

"He dropped over on the corner of Elm and Cline." Dana didn't seem too concerned.

"Shouldn't you go get him?"

"He knows where I am." She heard the front door of Cheryl's house. "Oh, there he is now!" She turned to greet her husband, but was knocked out of the way by Jim and Andy. They both jumped on the refrigerator and tried fighting each other for a single bottle of water. Andy got it from Jim who knocked it from his hands, caught it and unscrewed the cap as Andy grabbed another bottle. Tipping back the bottle, Jim downed the full bottle all at once.

"I needed that!" Jim gasped from the drink.

"You know…" Dana looked them over. "If you guys are going to try jogging, you really ought to get better work-out clothes!"

"Jogging? Jogging?" Jim looked at her scared for his life. "We not running for our health; we're running for our lives!"

"Ryan was right!" Andy wheezed between gulps of water. "That Stoddard place is H-A-N-T-E-D!"

"Hainted?" Dana mocked his spelling error.

"You know what I mean!!"

"Jim…" Cheryl leaned over the sink and looked out to the driveway. "Where's the van?!"

"I left it behind…"

"You ran the whole twenty-seven blocks!!" She looked briefly over to Dana. "This place really has got you spooked."

"I'll go send Andy after it later." Jim started slowly composing himself as he sat sipping his beer.

"I ain't going back near that place." Andy started shaking his head with a freaked out look to his face. "Uh-uh, no way, no how… This Jedi-Knight don't play that." He was mixing up his grammar and syntax all over the place. From inside the house, another door opened and slammed shut. Andy tried to jump into Jim's arms as if he was in a _Scooby Doo_ cartoon but instead crashed to the kitchen floor when Jim neglected to catch him. Everyone turned and looked as Ryan came limping into the house coughing and wheezing. Deep into exhaustion, he dragged his one aching leg toward the kitchen table, weakly pulled out a chair and collapsed into it. He stole Andy's water bottle to replenish himself.

"What's wrong with you two idiots!" He screamed at Jim and Andy. "I was standing there tying my shoelace and you two guys plowed right over me!"

"I told you we ran over something." Jim looked to Andy.

"That's my big strong man!" Dana shined and hugged her husband with a kiss. "He's been running with me for three straight days." She squeezed him lovingly. "Race you back to our house! Loser gets dinner!" She tagged him and took a slow regular jog out the back door.

"You win…" Ryan lifted his water to her than to even try. Gradually breathing easier, he thanked Cheryl for the cold towel to his head and partially collapsed to the table. Andy had settled into the other chair.

"Jim, you got to help me." Ryan grabbed and held Jim as a lifesaver from leaving him. "I created a monster! I can't stop Dana from jogging and exercising. I'm exhausted! The other day, I took a nap on my own examination table with my own legs in the stirrups!"

"I've got my own problem!" Jim snapped back. "I've got a work order in a haunted house! It creeps me out to have to go back there."

"Look…" Ryan checked to make sure they were clear. "I will see what I can do for you if you try and help me."

"What can you do to help me?"

"Well," Ryan sat back with a deep breath. "What are you experiencing? Sounds? Could be starlings? They're known for mimicking sounds."

"What we heard wasn't no starlings." Andy sat sipping his water. "This house has a presence. A very tangible presence… like when my dad would come out from using the bathroom. I'd know he'd been in there long after he was gone."

"Andy…" Cheryl stood and leaned by Jim with her arm around him. "I think that was something else." She paused and looked upon her brother-in-law. "Ryan, I know you kind of believe in ghosts, but couldn't this all be in Jim's head."

"There's nothing in my head, Cheryl." Jim did not want to sound like a kook.

"You can say that again!" Andy quipped trying to be funny.

"Cheryl, you know…" Ryan was now feeling back up to stuff after his forced run. "A lot of money goes into paranormal research every year. People who don't usually believe in ghosts are often facing things they can't explain."

"Who you going to call?!" Andy tipped up and held his bottle aloft. When his brothers-in-law didn't share or finish his movie reference, he silently lowered his bottle into deep quiet rejection and sat quietly listening.


	5. Chapter 5

5

"Hey…." Cheryl noticed Dana and Ryan entering her home. "You're not jogging today."

"No," Dana strided forward first. "We drove over to see if Jim would let us peek inside the old house on Sycamore." Dana had moved over to her brother-in-law sitting in his usual easy chair reading the sports pages. "But guess what? There was nobody there!" She looked down to Jim with an evil grin. "Is the big old contractor afraid of a few noises?" She spoke baby talk to annoy Jim.

"I have an idea, Dana…" Jim reached into his pocket and pulled out his keys. "Why don't I give you and Ryan the keys and let you two wander around that big old spooky house all by yourselves?" He looked back at her. Dana looked at him, seemed to mull it over and backed off.

"I thought so…" Jim returned his keys to his pocket. "Looks like I'm not the only person who believes in ghosts."

"There's no such thing as ghosts!" Cheryl tried to be the voice of reason. "What if your kids heard you? Do you want them thinking you're scared of a few noises?"

Jim looked up to her presence standing over him. He looked to Dana before him sitting on his coffee table and Ryan standing by her side. Rolling his head aside a bit annoyed, Jim took a deep breath and rolled his head back.

"Ruby? Gracie?" He called to his daughters. "Could you come here please?" There was a noise above their heads as the two girls responded. The top floor sounded with moving figures as footsteps motioned to the top landing, and two young ladies appeared atop the stairs. Ruby was the older young lady at thirteen years of age while Ruby was already blossoming into womanhood at twelve. An annoyed sigh on her lips, Ruby stopped first and looked to her father. Gracie slightly posed as if she were a precocious child star.

"Ruby, Gracie…" Jim looked upon his daughters. "Would you two girls think any less of your father if he were afraid of ghosts?"

"No."

"No, daddy…"

"Thank you, girls, carry on…" Jim sent them off again as his two daughters sighed and looked upon each other a bit confused and rolled their eyes as they returned to their room. Cheryl rolled her eyes as well at that display. Ryan smirked trying to contain a laugh as Jim had proved his point. Jim had just proved that his s had reached a time of their lives that they didn't care that much about him.

"Here you go, Jim…" Ryan leaned over and pulled old his old worn issue of _Detroit Life _rolled into his back pocket. "Here's the article I got about the house. I thought you'd like to read it."

"Yeah, thanks Ryan…"

"Let me know if there's any big words you got problems with." Dana again poked at his self-esteem and he threatened to swat her for being . It was a hollow threat, but it was still in the vein of teasing; they respected each other underneath the sibling-level rivalry.

"Hey guys…" Andy entered the house carrying a roll of blueprints under his arm about the house they were restoring. "Jim, I was just at the site…" He voice lilted with signs of a deception. "And was thinking… Why don't we paint the walls instead of laying wallpaper? It'd be quicker."

"Whatever the client wants…" Jim looked up.

"Wait a second…" Dana sensed these games often a bit before Cheryl did. "You know, Ryan and I were just up at that house." She beamed knowing he was lying. "We didn't see you there."

"Well," Andy started improvising. "That's because I was upstairs where I couldn't hear you." Dana still didn't believe him.

"It was a large room." Andy added. Dana was staring him down.

"All right!! The place creeps me out!" Andy confessed. "We've been working off site!" Dana beamed smugly having broken him.

"Andy… that was supposed to be a secret!" Jim responded.

"Jim…" Cheryl once again found she had to be the voice of reason. "This is crazy. You can't work like that. It would take you forever to do the job!"

"Cheryl," Jim looked to his wife. "You haven't seen this place. It's the creepiest place I've ever seen. It's like it gets to you."

"You're right, Jim." Cheryl faced him down. "I haven't seen it. So take me to go see it, and if something happens, I won't say another thing."

"Fine." Jim gestured to his brother-in-law. "Come on, Andy…"

"You want me to go up to that haunted…" The portly contractor reacted to his childhood fears. "I don't…" Jim suddenly grabbed him and dragged him out to the truck as Dana and Ryan tagged along. Cheryl called down her kids to go visit their father's new project. They were heading back to the Old Stoddard House.

"I don't want to go!" Andy screamed as Jim slammed the car door on him.


	6. Chapter 6

6

From their street, Jim drove his family and extended family down Highway 41 for a casual if slightly emotionally-strained car ride. The kids eyed and pointed out every fast food place they wanted to stop at as Cheryl and Dana commented and critiqued the homes they passed. As the area became more rural, the road dipped down a hill and up on the crest they could see the Old Stoddard House up above. To reach it, Jim turned off on to Rural Route 18 and into the first driveway he reached. It was slightly unseen, hard to spot due to the obscured path, but Jim turned on and drove up around the outer drive winding up the side of the hill until he was perched up top and looking down upon the highway. It was early dusk and night was arriving. The first thing Cheryl noticed was the quaint old well out from the house and the derelict horse stables across the field from them. Dana pulled her long tresses from blowing across her face and cooed that this was the house she should have got with Ryan. With her kids racing to explore the stables, Cheryl shouted a few warnings to them then turned as Jim and Ryan started off to explore the house.

"I ain't going in, Jim!" Andy stayed in the backseat. "I ain't going in!"

"Then you'll be all alone in the car!" Dana slammed the car door on him. Andy spent the enclosed silence alone for all of ten seconds before he rolled the door open.

"Don't leave me alone!!" He rushed to catch up.

Inside the house, Cheryl awed at the grand staircase and admired the old mirrors left behind by the last owners. She wanted one of them, but Jim had to find out of the new owner was keeping them before taking them. Dana felt the same way about the large armoire in the dining room. She wanted it too. Jim would have to check on that too. Jim's crew had painted the dining room an emerald green to make the mahogany fixtures set out to the eyes. The drawing room floor had been cleaned and stained. The elaborate fireplace mantelpiece now cleaned and varnished, and its flue cleared and cleaned for business. Gone were the dust and the sheets over the furniture. Cheryl felt like a young girl in the museum-like house. She wanted to explore every room. Dana tugged Ryan to see the study. Even with the tools of restoration present, it still had its charm. Andy stayed in the foyer looking around and imagining noises. Were the spirits of ghostly kids chattering at him from the top of the stairs? Was there another reflection in addition to his in the mirrors? He thought he heard a gasp of something next to his ear.

"Oh, Jim…" Cheryl cooed to her husband. "I could live in this house."

"Oh, sure…" Jim looked back at her. "Like I want to live in Amityville!" She swatted him for not being romantic. Turning on her heel, she casually looked back out to the drawing room and noted the footsteps of children silently and without a noise vanishing up the stairs. She wondered if it was her kids, but she hadn't even heard them enter the house.

"Ruby, Gracie?" She called out and started to step from the drawing room. Before she could make a step, a chair slid out casually from the wall, spinning its axis and turning to face her. It stopped to face her as if someone invisible was sitting before her. She froze where she was, trying to make a sound, only mustering one loud breath after another.

"Could we get out of here?" Andy spoke out loud. "I do not want to be here after dark when the ghosts come out looking to drink some blood. I'm fat. They could come for me first!"

"Andy," Ryan wandered up to him nonchalantly after checking the gutted kitchen being restored and updated. "That's a vampire. Ghosts are just the spirits of people who died. They're not much into anything besides making their presence known."

"And besides…" Dana came forward from admiring the mantel. "I haven't seen the upstairs yet." She turned toward Cheryl looking at the chair. "I really doubt that this…" She stopped where she was in the center of the room and reeled as if she was stuck to the spot. "Oh god… Andy's right!" She reacted distressed, scared and overwhelmed, placing her hand to her chest to restrain herself. "There is a presence here! I can feel it entering my body! I can feel myself starting to change! I feel myself getting stronger! I can't stop it!!" She screamed as loud as she could.

"Oh dear god!!" Andy reacted as Jim and Ryan froze and watched her. "She's going to grow to fifty-feet tall and eat us! I'm out of here!!" He comically ran fast for a fat guy. He charged past Cheryl and stumbled over the chair in his way. Jim pushed Ryan out of his way and started to run after Andy. Dana started laughing.

"I'm just kidding, you idiots!" Dana confessed, and Ryan clutched his chest to share a laugh with his wife. They shared a moment as Jim came back upset at her for scaring him.

"That wasn't funny!" Jim shook his finger at her, but Dana just taunted him.

"I just wanted to scare Andy!" She faced off her brother-in-law. "In fact, I think I'm a pretty good actress if I cold scare two boobs!"

"Jim, honey…" Cheryl tapped her husband delicately. "Could we get out of here?" She was just a little spooked by the moving chair, but she would not admit it after telling Jim there was no such thing as ghosts.

"You didn't see the upstairs."

"Yeah, well…" Cheryl looked the chair Andy had placed aside and back to the winding staircase for a return of the ghostly kids. "It's getting dark, and besides… we haven't had dinner yet. We could go to the Worshams Restaurant!"

"Okay," Jim stroked her face with the tip of his thumb out of love. "But first, I got to show you this…" He turned her proudly to the mantel. "Look at that… it was carved in five separate pieces by hand, and it all fit together. Look, you can't even see the seams."

"Wow, Jim, that's incredible." Ryan spoke up in the dwindling light. "You did all that?"

"No, the old caretaker did…" Jim thought he saw the man in the magazine Ryan gave him. He pulled the folded over magazine from his back pocket. He skimmed the magazine a bit looking for the article and saw a photo he recognized.

"Look…" He folded the article open. "Here's the old caretaker I talked about, Amos Queen – he and his father built this mantel here. He talked me out of ripping it out."

"He looks old." Cheryl saw the picture.

"He looks crazy." Dana made a snide comment.

"Jim, wait, you actually saw this guy?" Ryan reacted a bit.

"Yeah…" Jim paused with a bit of respect for the guy. "He seemed like a great guy. You know, back then, they built all that stuff with their bare hands." Cheryl reacted a bit impressed, but Andy just nodded. He knew about some of those handcrafting techniques. Dana just looked from the photo to her husband.

"Uh, Jim…" Ryan had a bit of bad news. "If you actually read the article, it says that Amos Queen passed away in 1976. That was like… over thirty years ago."

Jim was struck mute by that fact. Cheryl froze as she was, and Andy did a little perturbed Oliver Hardy-double take before dropping his jaw. Dana made a look as if she was suddenly rendered blonde. Only Ryan stayed cognizant of his surroundings.

"I don't want to know anymore about the house." Jim tossed the magazine back at Ryan.


	7. Chapter 7

7

Another day, and another dollar, and Dr. Ryan Gidson wandered home hesitantly. He was tired and exhausted between his wife dragging him out on jogging runs through the neighborhood and the numerous complaints and discomforts of his female patients. Ambling like a dead man from his car, he swayed tiredly on his front stoop while taking out his key to unlock the front door and lock it again behind him after entering. The house was dark and spooky, but he wasn't scared. The walk up to his room was taking a lot out of him. He predicted a night of rubbing pain liniment over his legs again. A peek in on his infant son, a groan from his lungs, a creak from his back and he swayed the walk of a dead man into his lighted bedroom and his beautiful wife once more shining up to him in yet another daringly sensual little bedroom attire.

"Hey there, baby…" She posed in a long slinky black nightgown. "Guess what? I'm down five whole pounds." She shined with a crazy happy smile. "Another two weeks of jogging, and I'll weight exactly what I did in high school!"

"You will?" Ryan tried to be happy for her, but as he pulled her giddily closer to him, he felt something. His life being whisked away from him by five-mile jogs, and his lungs wheezing from air trying to keep up with her. He pushed her away from him.

"I'm sorry, Dana, but…" He looked nervously into her eyes. "But you're so…. skinny and bony. I feel as if I'm hugging… Lara Flynn Boyle."

Dana looked at him in disbelief.

"Or Paris Hilton." Ryan confessed.

"Oh, my god!!" Dana reacted with shock. Had she made herself morbidly underweight?! "Are there still doughnuts downstairs?"

"I don't know." Ryan had only had two of them.

"Oh god!!" Dana bolted for the door. "I'm going to have to finish off the rest of that pizza! I need ice cream! Lots of ice cream!" She streaked from the room in a hurry to build up her weight. Left behind in her bedroom, Ryan lightly exhaled, sat down on the bed and reached over to pick up his cell phone with a slight variation from the other night. He lightly tapped one number in his top five and made a happy face after his little charade.

"Hello?"

"Jim, " Ryan spoke. "It worked just like you said. She is downstairs eating everything up in sight." Through the phone, Jim the self-proclaimed expert on women began chuckling.

"Oh my god, it's low fat!!" Dana screamed from downstairs after reading the ice cream box.

"Now don't get me wrong…" Ryan responded. "I love Dana exactly as she is, but I prefer a woman who's pleasingly plump than grossly overweight or hideously thin."

"Me…" Jim continued on that vein of thought. "I prefer Cheryl as she is. Hot and athletic." He felt Cheryl standing over him. She kissed his head and stood over him.

"I just want to say…" Ryan added. "Thanks for the help. What you say sometimes may sound like crap, but every once in a while, you… Wait a second…" He sniffed the air of his house. "She's cooking the steaks!" He tossed the phone aside. "Dana, honey, I was saving them for a barbecue!!" He dashed from the bedroom. Jim continued chuckling on the fact that his advice worked out as he had planned. He clicked off his phone and looked to the blonde and hot love of his life.

"Jim," She stood over him in the old sweatshirt and pants she slept in at night. "I was wondering if you were still going to let me see another look of the inside of the Sycamore street house. I mean, it's spooky, but I have just got to see the interior after you finish it. As long as you're with me, of course!" She never told him about her experience.

"Sure, I only have to go by once a week…" Jim looked at her. "You see, Lance, my foreman… he's been wanting more responsibility… so I gave him supervising control under my guidance, and best of all… he doesn't know about the stories." He looked at Cheryl with his righteous look. "If he doesn't know, he can't get scared."

"That's clever, honey…"

"I know…"

"Because you don't believe in ghosts."

"No, I don't…"

"You know, honey," Cheryl kissed and showed her love for her husband. "I'm glad you don't believe in ghosts, because, you know, sometimes, I hear strange noises from the basement here."

"What…" Jim tried to hide his fear. "Kind of noises?"

"Sounds like whispering…" She hoped she was spooking him. "They're always going Cheryl, Cheryl, Cheryl…." She breathily spoke her own name hauntingly through her breath. "But if you say they're not ghosts, you know, I believe you. It's not like the sounds from the attic which are so much more scarier."

"How much more scarier?"

"Don't worry about it." She kissed him again. "Good night, honey…"

"Yeah… good night…" He looked up as she ascended the staircase with a mischievous little childlike grin. Once she was gone, Jim became apprehensive to being alone and looked around his living room. The back way was a little dark, the dining room with the lights off seemed a bit foreboding and as a breeze blew outside, he heard the dry leaves rattling across his porch like fingernails scratching to get inside his home. The sports section in his hand started shaking.

"Cheryl…" He got up turning off the light to race to his wife. "Remember how you said we never snuggle anymore…"

Across the street in his house, Andy was struggling to sleep. He rolled backwards and sideways, mumbling in his sleep. In his head, he was back at the hill, standing before the old Sycamore Street house. The windows were flashing on and off with lights flickering. The walls and exterior was breathing, moaning and creaking… It was alive. The windows were cracking and shattering. Andy wanted to run, but he couldn't. In the dream, the house was coming apart for him, and he had to witness it. The roof shattered as the shingles slid off into piles on the ground. The roof split open and a massive presence started ripping her way out. He knew who it was. It was Dana, her eyes were completely black and she was twenty feet tall and growing even more gigantic. Hissing through her teeth, possessed by a massive store of occult energies, she turned her evil visage toward Andy and stepped out unrestrained by the house she had grown up out from, garbed in an Allison Hayes-like covering that barely covered her accoutrements. She was hungry for fresh meat, and only one person was near her. Andy woke up screaming once again!

"I can't get that image out of my head!!" He sat up screaming from bed in the middle of the night. "I can't that image from my head!!"

END


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